A Start to a new beginning: a journal entry and after I quit smoking
A journal entry of reflection, self-awareness, and body-image, and how resisting temptation aides in my efforts to quit
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7 Months Before I Quit Smoking
A journal entry of reflection, self-awareness, and body-image, and how resisting temptation aides in my efforts to quit smoking
Today, before I quit smoking, I have come to the conclusion that my body, mind, skin, and overall appearance should be the center and foundation of my existence. By quitting smoking I pray it enhances my relationships and finances, and in turn, day-to-day interactions, while uplifting my spirits from taking better care of myself. I have the sense in mind that people are not just coexisting with me, but they are dependent on me. I am an independent, very strong woman. People rely on me to take care of myself. However, there is uncertainty about going to a psychiatric emergency or taking medication. The indirect acceptance of mental health patients smoking is very daunting, warning signs for no smoking are on my medication labels. This is so very contradicting. What is the return result? I have wondered how taking medication affects my preferred diet, as well, which includes lean foods like fruits, salads, and juice. These kinds of lean diets come naturally to me. There is a pause from eating dangerous, heavy foods that contaminate my body. I usually don't think or ponder about eating these kinds of foods unless I'm taking my medication. I wonder how well people are actually doing or how much better they can become dependent on me.
Furthermore, the focus more today than ever is to stop smoking.
Feelings about smoking
Thoughts revolving around smoking are nasty, unhealthy, with dark shadows, darkness in the creases of my body, inner thighs, black neck, and dark circles under my eyes, dry mouth, and black lips. I have to become angry with myself, angry with the smoke. I need to hear a voice coming deep within me to be unleashed, to hear myself, and feel myself having a breakthrough. Every day is a new beginning. I know I don't want to smoke. I know the root cause of all my facial appearances that taunt me, that I have become too at ease and content. Becoming content with my body not being in shape is setting me back in life. I really want to play the part of who I am, my education, my purpose, my job history, and my goals for my blog. Smoking is distracting me from fulfilling my purpose and gaining the respect that I desire and desperately need from my family, acquaintances, peers, and those I encounter at stores or the gas station. I feel a drive coming over me to stop smoking, to grab a hold of myself, to realize that I am being tempted by the devil, the evil Shaytan.
Quitting smoking for mental health and wellness can be scary.
It is not me that desires to smoke; it is the devil. I feel like if I could work out and pray early in the morning, as far as I can remember, these things help tremendously over time. If I take a shower, work out early in the morning, say a prayer, and start my journal, I will resist the temptation when evil forces try to lure me into smoking cigarettes. It’s the devil entering into me to go to gas stations and smoke shops to buy cigarettes. When I confront them at the gas station, at 7-11, and the smoke shop, they never deny not calling me once. When I say calling me to the smoke shop, 711, and the gas station, I'm referring to the sinister, wanting me to hear him calling me for either vigilante purposes or to stop the rain or to bring better health to them and their families at the expense of my health, money, and wellness. There is no alternative for smoking. Anything that involves a lighter and fire, such as gas, those fumes are easily put in my body when I smoke. Fortunately, I was awakened to a nasty lighter that made me sick. I became so sick from using it that I could smell and taste the difference from the same cigarette using a different lighter. This negative experience with the nasty lighter boosted my drive to become smoke-free.
What I want to achieve from Quitting Smoking?
I want to be clear-headed. Once I establish my quit day to stop smoking cigarettes and hold firm to it, the quit day is when I quit. Every prayer, shower, workout, I become closer and closer to my official breakthrough, where I can hear no temptation from gas stations and smoke shops. One thing I can do is say that I am not going into any store that sells cigarettes or tobacco unless it's for work. If I set ground rules with myself by eliminating stores to go into and the hours in addition to the purpose, this helps tremendously. If I bring wrath and confrontation towards people at the smoke shops and at stores to stop calling me, they may not be willing to accept what I am saying at first, but they will soon take heed of what I am saying.
Reflection on temptation
Once I work out in all areas of my life and demonstrate to myself and demonstrate in my actions that I am standing firm, no one shall be against me. No one shall be against me when all my actions are in line. Who will dictate or determine what temptation I fall into? Because the thoughts of lowering me there will not be able to be performed. For instance, it takes three days for the easing of temptation. Once I resist for three days, things become easier to resist, upon prayer, upon working out, upon my dietary, and upon my showering and meals at the same time every day. It takes three weeks to break a habit. If I do the same thing every day for three weeks, the enemy will be far from existence of the temptation so the desire will not arise to be carried out. I have to be prepared when I determined that I'm not going to smoke. When I wet and throw away my cigarettes, I am not fully prepared. That's not preparing myself; it's just showing my immature frustrations. It allows me to waste my money, but I have not won the battle just yet. I have still fallen into temptation by buying the cigarettes and becoming a binary number.
Going over and over again to the store every day is a very obnoxious thing to do, buying so many cigarettes and cigars. Even if I am saying, "mind your own business" when I am being viewed in the public eye, I understand that I am being watched, and I'm not a criminal. I have to be on my best behavior for myself and respect the awareness of the law. The law is the spiritual law, the spiritual warfare that is waging against me. I have to maintain this spiritual warfare. This is a new approach to me because I came to a realization that grabbing and touching warning signs from people and cleansing my body out alerts the Walking Dead in spiritual warfare. However, they are equal to themselves, the majority, a dependent, many generations beneath the 3% elite.
Stopping Smoking Preparation
The main topic is stopping smoking preparation. Once I quit smoking, do not go back. Once I press forward, I will wipe out everything that I have achieved if I go back to doing the wrong things. I have to have a clear mindset, a clear vision of what it takes to conquer every aspect of the do not. So, I asked myself, how hard is it? Well, the hard part has already surpassed. I determined that I don't like it. It's unhealthy and belittling to my self-esteem. I know and I'm aware of what the causes are that are besetting me, my appearance, my finances, my occupation, my purpose, and my dietary.
After I Quit Smoking
After months of stressing, trying to figure out how I would stop smoking, I was able to gain self-control, finding new approaches that help fight cravings and led me to resist temptations from the evil forces of darkness. After months of trying to find a new beginning and a new path, I continuously ask God for guidance. I asked for guidance nearly every day that I follow a firm path, a straight path that I do not go astray. God soon answered my prayers after days of repenting my sins, asking for forgiveness. I then showed gratitude to God for His guidance every day, which helped tremendously.
What help to stay smoke free
Today, I work out every single day, walking for an hour a day, trying to pair it with a proper diet, eating light meals along with taking my medication. Spirituality and getting the proper exercise were significant parts in stopping smoking, getting out of wondering why I was smoking and taking action. I began to think, what can I control within myself? Today, I am thinking clearer thoughts that lead me to discover how to uplift myself, not just staying in the same position in life, in health and wellness. I noticed since I stopped smoking, I'm having more self-control in other areas as well. I don't find myself eating fast foods and thinking about drinking coffee every day. My sleep has improved. Before quitting smoking, I had a thought smoking was helping me to sleep. I was totally wrong; smoking was not helping me sleep. Now, I sleep fine without smoking.
How I feel now?
Today, I have clarity, patience, endurance, and understanding. I feel stronger, more independent, like I can resist temptation in all areas of my life. I am having more self-control. I will use my independence from smoking and newfound self-control in a positive direction to improve my quality of life in all areas of dimensions of wellness.
***Hope you found this insightful while grasping the key components!
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